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Group Conscience Minutes 2010
- Denial Became My Best Friend - AND A REAL ENEMY
- A love of nature wasn't enough to sustain a marriage troubled by intimacy issues.
- When I married my husband 25 years age, I didn't know he had a drinking problem. We were very similar-sharing a thirst for knowledge, a love of nature, and a good sexual relationship. We could talk about anything and everything, and for the first time in my life I felt truly loved and accepted.
- We had lived together for three years and I was very happy. Shortly after we married I realized something went wrong, but I was unable to work through it. I wanted to work through it. I wanted to live up to the expectations I had formed in my youth and live the dream portrayed in books and on TV-so I pretended everything was okay. As we both got sicker, I progressed in my career until I was supporting both of us, which enabled my husband to continue drinking, I made some attempts to talk with him, but when he rebuffed me, I continued ignoring the problem and became very sick myself.
- All intimacy in our marriage died. We stopped talking about anything other than superficialities, and our sexual intimacy stopped, too. My illness manifested itself both physically and mentally, as I continued to ignore the "elephant in the living room." Denial became my best friend and a real enemy.
- I felt very stressed, cried a lot, and developed a pain in my side. After being threatened with the loss of my job and forced to take a week off, I went to see a doctor. Both my blood pressure and cholesterol were too high. The doctor was wonderful and wormed the truth out of me. Although she gave me Al-Anon contacts, I wasn't ready.
- Finally I found Al-Anon and a wonderful home group two years ago. I cried my way through the first few meetings but I kept coming back. The members suggested I attend at least six meetings and I thought, "Anyone can manage that!" I started listening to the members share their experience, strength, and hope, and I was reading all the Al-Anon literature I could buy and borrow. I found a wonderful Sponsor and started working the Twelve Steps.
- The First Step, "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable," in particular was a huge relief-I was not responsible for the drinking! Wow! I continued working the Steps with the help of my Higher Power, my Sponsor, and my home group. I got involved in Al-Anon service. My blood pressure returned to normal, as did my cholesterol, and the pains stopped. I still have a way to go, but I'm getting well again.
- Six months ago I came to the realization that I could no longer continue enabling my husband. We split up. Yes, it's lonely, but with the help of my Higher Power, my Sponsor, and other Al-Anon friends, I'm learning to live on my own. I'm sure my Higher Power has a plan for me.
- Although I often take things back, I'm getting better at turning things over to my Higher power! I have goals now. I find enjoyment and laughter in the little things, mostly in nature, and I can laugh at myself. I'm so much better as I look forward to continuing my Al-Anon journey. I'm very grateful to my Al-Anon friends and those who have kept the programme going over the years. I will continue doing what I can to get the word out to those who need Al-Anon and to keep Al-Anon going for upcoming generations.
- By Viv
Alcoholism is a family disease. Those of us who live with, or have have lived with, this disease as children or adults sometimes have problems which the Al-Anon program can help us to resolve. If you have answered yes to some of all of the above questions, Al-Anon may be of help to you. You can contact Al-Anon by checking your local telephone directory, or from the Resources page. Phone numbers and Contact Information for the Austin Area are listed on the Contact Page of this website.
- These articles were reproduced with permission from 'The Forum', the monthly inspirational newsletter of Al-Anon. Al-Anon World Headquarters, Inc. is located in Virginia Beach, VA. See www.Al-Anon.org for more information.